


Unbidden Might Be My Love

by Lokincest



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Thor and Loki love each other whether you ship it or not basically, this isn't necessarily shippy hence the lack of slash pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokincest/pseuds/Lokincest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been five days since Thor retired to Midgard. The rain hasn’t stopped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbidden Might Be My Love

Thor rarely cries. When he’s sad, the sky opens up. The rain cries for him. Thunder helps him rage. Lightning helps him fight.

It’s been five days since Thor retired to Midgard. The rain hasn’t stopped.

Thor doesn’t cry in front of his friends, but now he rarely smiles.

On the sixth day, Loki can’t bear it any longer.

Thor is alone when Loki finds him, slipping from shadows and into his brother’s strange new Midgardian home. A place where he isn’t welcome. Not after everything he’s done.

Loki waits for Thor to see him, clenching his fists to keep himself from shaking. All he can think of is that this is his fault to begin with. That he doesn’t know how to fix things. Only destroy. But he’s selfish. He wants the sun to shine again. It doesn’t even matter that it won’t be shining for him. He just needs to know that his brother will be okay.

Thor doesn’t greet him. Doesn’t rise from where he sits on the edge of his own bed. A stranger in his own home. Instead he bows his head, buries his face in his hands and cries.

This is wrong, Loki knows. His brother has never been ashamed of his own grief, never bothered to hide his tears from anyone. And the room is so quiet. He wishes that Thor would rage at him, but only the storm outside rages, wind and rain against the windows.

Quietly, Loki goes to him. Sits on the bed, so lightly and stiffly as if he is afraid to actually disturb Thor’s space. But he must. He places his hands on Thor, as if to reassure him that he is real. Not just a shadow from the darkness he had crept out of.

Thor shudders at the first touch of Loki’s hand, warm against his neck. But he doesn’t pull away. And when Loki strokes his fingers against his skin, in some timid form of comfort, he sighs with a small sob and leans further into Loki’s touch.

"I’m sorry," Loki says, his voice a dull whisper under the sound of rain. He doesn’t know what else to do. Thor is the one to finally turn, putting one knee on the bed, and crush his brother in a hug. His huge arms lock around Loki, his face wet against Loki’s neck. He sobs loudly and Loki gingerly lays his arms around Thor’s back, uncertain now. The lines between them have been violated and redrawn so many times. But feeling Thor’s tears hot against his neck makes Loki tighten his grip, squeezing back as hard as he can, as if he could make Thor understand that Loki will always protect him. Even if it’s a lie. Loki prays that for once it isn’t. Thor needs this.

"I didn’t save her," Thor says, his voice rough and broken against Loki’s shoulder. It sends a chill through Loki’s chest – he finally understands. "She was my mother. I should have done better." And then his voice cracks and he can’t continue, can only breath raggedly against Loki’s skin between sobs.

"No," Loki says, shaking his head because his voice isn’t a strong enough denial. "It wasn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault."

Thor refuses to let go of him. His crying subsides, but the storm rages for hours outside, the sky growing black and streaked with lightning. He clings to Loki, listening to his brother’s heartbeat… to the thunderclaps that come so loudly that it reverberates in their bones.

At length, Thor ends up slumped against Loki, exhausted. The storm is dying off, feeble echoes of thunder still occasionally stirring up like a child that can’t stop sobbing. Loki tries to coax his brother to lie down on the bed, to rest now.

"I can’t," Thor whispers, clutching his fists in Loki’s clothes. "You’ll leave me."

"I won’t," Loki says, his throat tight. "I promise."

"In the morning you will," Thor amends, and Loki says nothing. "I can’t go back to these games with you, Loki. They need to stop. I can’t keep fighting you. I need you."

Loki says nothing. He extracts himself from Thor’s grip just enough to lay back on the bed. Thor stares at him, confused and exhausted, but Loki reaches his hands out, tugs his brother down to join him.

Thor sinks onto him, his bones going limp. He rests his head on Loki’s chest, arm flung around Loki’s waist, fist clenched desperately into his shirt as if Loki might wiggle away. The trickster has no intention of playing tricks today. His arms rest on Thor’s back, feather-light, fingertips trace soothing patterns against tense muscles until Thor finally relaxes.

When his breathing evens off, approaching a snore, only then Loki dares to stroke Thor’s hair, to brush his knuckles against Thor’s neck and feel the hot pulse there.

"I need you more than you need me," Loki confesses quietly, sadly, when he knows that Thor cannot hear.

There’s a breath shared between them and then a soft but firm, “No,” that nearly startles Loki out of his skin. Thor tightens his grasp on Loki, inhales deeply against his chest, and sighs. “I don’t want to be without you, Loki. Ever. I love you.”

"I love you too," Loki says, feeling confused and breathless. He’s grateful that Thor’s heavy weight on him, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to tell if this was real or not.

"Even though you’re a little shit," Thor adds so quietly that Loki isn’t sure he just said anything.

Loki freezes. And then laughs. “Even though you’re still a stupid oaf,” he chuckles, and feels Thor laughing silently in turn.

"I missed you," Thor says, the words turning heavy with emotion. Loki doesn’t say anything – can’t trust himself to say anything.

_Did you?_

_… I know._

_… I missed you too._

Hours later, Thor wakes in a tangle of limbs. Loki, sleepy-eyed with dried tears on his face. Loki sees him and offers a small smile. Thor grins in return and kisses Loki’s face, nuzzles against his neck and clings.

They sleep in longer, Loki too warm and content to move, Thor too pleased to have his brother back to dare let him go. Later they’ll get up, eat, and try to figure it out. It won’t be easy, but they need each other.

For the first time in nearly a week, the sun shines.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a poem my lovely girlfriend wrote for me
> 
> [Silens Carmen](http://uruhashii.tumblr.com/post/84391742645/silens-carmen) by [Risuza](http://risuza.tumblr.com)  
> 
> 
> _the drops are cold though warm_   
>  _when they hit my chest and face_   
>  _the sky roars though calm_   
>  _i lean into its embrace_
> 
> _cold winds tell their lore_   
>  _at my ears while i rest_   
>  _the ocean floads the shore_   
>  _it unexists beyond your chest_
> 
> _broken trees and overflown rivers_   
>  _for me it all passes by_   
>  _though the lake waves and foundations quiver_   
>  _if i can have you, i will not cry_
> 
> _let the dark clouds gather_   
>  _and the galaxies collide_   
>  _the sound of ruin will not matter_   
>  _as long as your hands are my guide_
> 
> _dark may be the day glow_   
>  _and unbidden might be my love_   
>  _after the rain comes the rainbow_   
>  _of us, to me, comes nothing above._


End file.
